6. Steps

There is so much I want

To achieve

To see

To be

I might as well sew my eyes closed;

I will never be the epitome

Of lust

Or love

Or trust

Yet I adore that light swinging over my bed

I wonder if you can still see when you're dead?

Or if we'll be deaf, dumb, and blind - as we are in life

And I can still see that musk

On the tabletop

You fucking rabid

Animal, I trusted you

Maybe

I should dress in black again

Pretend I’m in mourning for a friend

Or a boy I barely knew

Will it let me be?

This relentless

Whining

Moaning

Consistency

We never really change

I am still my black-clad self

Shouting aloud again