6. Albion

Praise the lord,

the father,

 the spirit,

the son

For the trees, and the wind, and the lakes sing you’re one

To raise from unnatural dis-temperament, and mend

All the roads and pillars left to wrack and ruin

            With the eternal feelers of creepers enclosing the sun

Of each old secret place, as moss becomes mud

There are no more druids, to safeguard what was called England

      There are no warders to protect earth

 and sky

and sand

Let vines and Past and the eternal green,

Enfold,

renew,

reform,

 reshape,

 Albion’s new Mother Queen

Let steel and Future and ignoble Man,

Bear witness to the rebirth of Albion’s old

 England

6. Merry

I hear the bell toll twelve,

And with, the desperation of the ardent sky

The time of feasts and charity has passed

This is the time of the lullaby

Bellies so full of meat and greed succumb to sleep

And robins slumber softly in the trees

This is no time for the frail, or meek, or weak

This was the time to lose the masses starving in the streets

This was the time of self-charity

2. Well

You are this bottomless well

Projected onto faces and figures and dreams

Visible only by approach, but

Approached always, in reproach of means

A pebble dropped – thud, thud, thud

Is but a measure of what you’re thinking of

Paralleled by the rejected scoff;

The notion that you are as you seem

With more water, perhaps this well will reach the top

And with it all contained illusions stop

2. Scribble

I don't know what to think or do or eat or drink,

I am lost in a wasteland of my own creation and repression,

Hunted by spectres and pictures

5. Ink

Blotted out thoughts on ink

It’s like remembering amnesia

An oxymoronic paradox

That won’t let you sleep until

You’ve solved the mystery

Who shot the sheriff?

Who bled the blotter

And shattered the sink?

A murderous rage indeed

For the villain of this piece

The red masque is staring in the dreams

Of the children who begged to leave

From gas-masks to hand-guns

To the assassin of the White Queen

This is wonderland entwined, combined

With the nightmare scenes

That stop you sleeping, every so often

While ravens descend upon the mindscape

So carefully crafted to bar access

To the mentality so finitely rotten

It’s tearing apart at the seams

Easily dissembled at the hands of a God

He will lumber and you will stop

And beg, and cower, and scream

As omnipotent fury clouds you like flies

Upon the corpse of the childhood you used to see

Now only recaptured through nostalgia,

And the cracked old tv screens

6. I

There is a crow, flying high

There is a realisation,

There is a light

There is unification of life

Reflected in the dying fire

Mirrored in the flailing eye

Of insanity and ire

This is the time of strife

5. Claustrophobia

Staring at the walls; they keep closing in

This is the claustrophobia of an eternal sleep

Where the cracks in the ceiling ooze black essence

They scab, and blister, and flake, but never heal

It’s becoming increasingly hard to tell what’s real

Or the figment of a saturated imagination

Is the world spinning? Are the true flickers there?

There is no such thing as reality in this situation

The vividity, the vivacity, is swallowing the earth from the blue

2. Supernova

Stars glisten in the light of your eyes

It’s extinguishing, a setting sun exploding

A suicidal supernova in implosion

All slender limb, furied fire

You are the spark to the glisten

Drenched in petroleum, alone

All I do anymore, is sit

With my head to your door

And listen, for sounds of glory,

Sadness, or madness

It’s hypothetical – are you sure?

I don’t know what to prepare for

5. Fuck it

Smash Crush Smile Break Swipe Scythe Bend Mush Shatter Tear Rip Laughter

I want these things

A group of comrades with which to run rings

Around slow-go mall cops and obese police

Slurping at coffee and swallowing grease

Running into a back-yard and into a pool

Drowning with clothes on and screaming with joy

Swallowing pills with vodka for kicks

‘Fuck it, we’ll see what it does’

Early morning, maybe rise, have a bite to eat

Survey the carnage, bodies on every seat

Bird-nests nestled in my hair

Step onto the porch, have a smoke

Watch wreaths rise in morning-sun

Damn the consequences; I want to belong

2. Black Tea

I can feel the heat

Radiating

From your paper-bag head

Worn by choice, you say?

Nobody forced you to hide your breath

What is it

   You are choosing to conceal?

Is it a scar?

I know some scars never heal

Is it an expression?

Of love,

Of violence,

Of lust?

Or all three of the above

I hope

There is NOTHING you can conceal from me

I keep telling myself that

But I still can’t sleep

Maybe you simply don’t want to see my face?

The paper bag is a barrier to erase

The memories?

As bittersweet as sugared black tea

I’m joking, I know you like coffee

5. The caterpillar of storms

Go, child,

Go down to the woods

And find the caterpillar of storms

He is the only creature wise enough

To stop the ceaseless march of worms

To the early grave

When you make this journey, there are three dangers you will face:

The bear, the pitfall, and the snake;

If you wish to survive, my advice you must take;

The bear is all-mighty, but easily tricked

The pitfall’s within, and needs inner strength

While the snake would have you, provide substance for him

For the glorified bear you must use guile –

Drug the meat, and let him sleep awhile

For the stumbled fall you must use wings –

These wings you must unfold from within

For the turncoat snake you must have heart –

He will try to turn you to the corrupting dark

If at last all three dangers you have faced

There is a boat; there is a lake

Take the oars, and to the centre make

There, resplendent in the wind

Will be the creature that you seek

And remember! You must present him with a gift

Myrrh, or gold, or frankincense

He will speak, and you must listen

It is a sight! To watch his knowledge glisten

Then hurry back, along that same old-road

Be courteous to your vanquished foes

Return to me, and we shall see

If you have become the creature you set out to be

2. Train

Dressing up those ugly words

With flaming hair and a gun of a mouth

You’re the prettiest train-wreck I’ve ever seen

I’d pull you from the tracks if I wasn’t so weak

5. Paraphrase

Jagged tear

Not for me

To paraphrase

I love these ‘slender tracks’

Crossing the land

Scars torn windward in racks

An elegant beauty

This age old friend

Didn’t think I would need you again

Look who was wrong

It’s calling back to when I was fifteen

Young and broken and green

A sapling in the storm

Originating where we hail from –

Discontent

5. spøg

I saw all those ambulances outside the flat next door

Only when you asked if they were for me

No, my darling my dear, of course not

I’m far, far, far too happy

6. Start

All the broken photos from the past

I’m not even sure, where to

        Start.

6. Tectonic

Instability becomes me

Tectonic

Plates

Shift.

What is the morality of death?

Is the sorrow and anger worth the last breath?

Can a man ever be truly happy

Perhaps

A monk with a woman, and peace by the sea?

Is a mind finite?

Can it be stretched too tightly?

Or is madness simply a clearer world-view;

Where it is decided

      Nothing is truth, but insanity

When it stops

Will we float up to the throne of a God?

If we choose could we have him shot?

As a terrible ruler, a tyrant,

     Deposed?

Is heaven a democracy, or a monarchy?

A serf-camp or equality imposed?

How far does the extension of self

A false morality

Stretch

Will a man sacrifice his life for those he defends?

I feel the majority

   Will not.

312. Crux

I am occasionally filled with loss

When I look upon those crossed

On the shade road to what could have been

One, two, three – more than I could dream

Each one with potential to be something beautiful

Each one no longer that important to me

One, two, three – you are the crux, the cream

The majesty I preserve in memory

You dream and wake with me eternally

2. Shana

Every time you lose a little of yourself

I take a little of mine

Then we can separate and pretend it’s fine;

I cut it out in the straightest of lines

That ruby mannequin,

You wanted from Camden

I always remember how much you love London

You could be a model there

Body, beauty, mentality – you have it all

Especially on days of sky so, so grey

What should we do now?

I’m running out of skin and

You’re running out of body to stretch thin

This hole is cutting and eating us in

6. Wondering

As I stared into the night sky

Reflecting upon the infinity of stars,

I wondered – as with Heracles

Will there be one for me?

2. Thinspo

I want you so much but

Can I have you?

Would dragging this out be the

Wrong thing to do?

You are so

Beautiful

Destructive

Wild

When we eclipse our two worlds collide

You have eaten my

Heart

Body

Mind

But

I have made you mine

And this I regret;

The sorrow I could not tell,

The secret I had to keep

When you fell, hidden from me

2. Lie of the land

I waited so long for you to return

From the European journey

All of us make when younger, that

I held you too briefly, burnt you

So brightly

And adjourned, our train-wreck beauty

Yet I am never good enough with words;

This possession churns in

The deep-black waters we formed

When I held you in the cusp of my hand

With this decision as the wergild to pay

For past months, and – dare I say?

Future ones

The problem is always in the lie of the land

2. Sleeping dogs

These are not the things I need!

This is not the love I long to see!

She will be beautiful, yes, but oh - unhealthy

So

Please salvage yourself from the broken bones

Of the body you’ve beaten that remains a home

To my meanings of you

I never wanted to leave you like this;

This distance, this anguish, this paranoia

I’m so scared of dragging you further

Down

Should I let sleeping dogs lie?

What if this dog is the thing that keeps me alive?

What if my constant is making you sick?

How can I justify my love for this?

Maybe

It will be better

If I leave it be

Confusion.

24. One

I could promise you so many things:

Silence

Grace

Understanding

Nothing

But to start with I will promise you one thing:

Laughter

5. Agnostic Ash

I saw a frog laze upon a log

Hopping and stopping when he saw a fly

I asked him –

‘Have you considered a life cleansed of lies?’

‘Religion has many virtues, you see

It can make you immortal; incomparable; even free!’

And all it will cost is unquestioning loyalty!’

‘Hmm – well, I appreciate your points;

But there is one small thing I have to ask..

Have you considered the logic of the Agnostic Ash?’

‘Why no, I’m afraid, my Amphibian ally

Whereabouts in these woods does this tree reside?’

‘It’s but three miles to the right of your arm –

But promise me one thing - you’ll do him no harm!

Listen to his arguments; I’m sure you’ll see

There’s no point to the plus, nor the contrary!’

‘Of course, of course; I’m no evil monster!

But I’d better set off before the night gets much darker’

And shortly afterwards, the woods abounded to the sounds of chainsaws ringing

5. Throne

Ascending, this ethereal blackness

I have floated up to the throne of a god

In this solemnity I can see it all:

A child laughing carelessly

A teen addressed in insecurity

An adult who dreams of being free

A world in disorder

A map of warred borders

A web of disasters

But a globe filled with laughter, and light

A state where sometimes, a man doesn’t have to fight

For what he believes

This is my responsibility

To assume the lofty mantle

To sift to man a psyche he can handle

Without this constant insanity

But then – what am I?

Does every god have to answer the question;

Do I have the right to answer?

Can man ever be in peace?

12. Blood

Give me a reason

To return to reality

This insanity

Is so much more fun

Before 3 am

When bloodied bats come crashing down

And the church hall resounds to screams

Adam

My arachnid friend

Is haunting my dreams

Give me a reason

I need a reason

So let the light stream in!

Upon my ribboned skin

Let the daylight in

I can’t stand the daylight

Remember those vampiric games?

Your beating blood          My fate

This is all there is

Give me a reason

To set it free

6. Rose

As the future and the present begin to fail me

I find myself looking at the past,

Through rose-tinted glasses

5. Debts

Staring down from the sky

I am the divine and I am the light

That frees you from your fear of the unknown

I am the reason you breathe, and eat

I am the freezing rain, and the burning heat

I am all and I am one

The father, the mother, the sister, the son

You owe everything to me

I ask nothing but that you live in beauty

I am the air, the dust, the silence, the sound

I am the moment when you wake so softly and astound

At the future as she sleeps

She sleeps so quietly

2. The first of December

That ivory still haunts me

Like the elephant, it comes with a fee

For this, it’s death

Or destiny

Did you see that cyclone by the sea?

In a way – I found

It was you and I

Eternally fighting, inseparably entwined

This is the first of December

And since the first of September

I have been slowly losing my mind